Low Libido Therapy for Women in Plano & Frisco, TX
Has your sex drive disappeared?
You used to want sex. You remember what that felt like. And now- somewhere between the baby, the hormones, the weight that won't budge, the exhaustion that never fully lifts, and the partner lying next to you who you love but can't seem to want- it's just gone.
And the silence around it is deafening.
You haven't told your doctor because you don't know how to start that conversation. You haven't told your partner everything because you don't want them to take it personally. And you've started to wonder, quietly, whether this is just who you are now.
It isn't. And you are not broken.
I'm Shanna Wilder, a Licensed Sex Therapist and Certified Holistic Sex Therapist with over 20 years of experience helping women understand and reclaim their desire. Low libido in women is one of the most common concerns I work with- and one of the most misunderstood. Because low libido is almost never really about sex. It's about everything else happening in your body, your brain, and your life.
You don't have to keep wondering if this is just who you are now. It isn't. Let's figure out what's actually happening — and what to do about it.
What's actually happening:
Women's desire is exquisitely sensitive to context. Unlike the Hollywood version of libido- spontaneous, urgent, always available- most women's desires requires positive conditions to flourish. But when those conditions are stacked against you, desire doesn't stand a chance.
Those conditions include:
Postpartum changes: Your body just did something extraordinary. Your hormones are recalibrating, you're sleep deprived, you're touched out by a small human who needs you constantly, and your sense of your own body may feel completely foreign. Of course desire has taken a back seat. This is biology, not failure.
Perimenopause and menopause: Fluctuating and declining estrogen affects vaginal tissue, lubrication, sensation, and desire directly. Hot flashes, disrupted sleep, and mood changes compound the picture. Many women going through perimenopause are told by their doctors that low libido is simply "part of aging." It doesn't have to be.
Body image: It is nearly impossible to feel sexually desirable when you are at war with your own body. Whether it's postpartum weight, midlife changes, or a lifetime of complicated feelings about how you look- body image is one of the most significant and least discussed drivers of low libido in women. You cannot fully inhabit your sexuality when you're spending mental energy criticizing what you see in the mirror.
Stress and anxiety: Your nervous system cannot be in survival mode and arousal mode simultaneously. Chronic stress- the low-grade, constant, modern life version- keeps your body in a state of alert that leaves no bandwidth for desire. This isn't a character flaw. It's neuroscience.
Relationship disconnection: Emotional distance, unresolved conflict, and the slow drift into roommate territory are among the most powerful libido suppressors that exist. You cannot desire someone you feel disconnected from- and pretending otherwise doesn't work.
What low libido therapy addresses:
Identifying the specific drivers of your low desire: hormonal, psychological, relational, or a combination
The neuroscience of women's desire and what actually activates it
Postpartum intimacy: reclaiming your body and your sexuality after having a baby
Perimenopause and menopause: navigating hormonal changes and their impact on desire
Body image and sexual confidence
The relationship between anxiety, stress, and libido
Communication with your partner about desire without it becoming a fight
Rebuilding a sexual relationship that actually works for you
My approach:
I don't believe in one-size-fits-all solutions for low libido, because there is no such thing. What works for one woman won't work for another, and the underlying causes are almost always layered and specific.
When I work with a woman on low libido I start with what I call a Desire Diagnostic- a thorough exploration of what's happening hormonally, historically, relationally, and neurologically. We figure out exactly what's driving your specific experience before we talk about solutions. Because treating the symptom without understanding the cause is how you end up with advice that doesn't actually help.
My approach is direct, warm, and completely judgment-free. I am not going to make you feel ashamed of where you are. I'm going to help you understand it, and then actually change it.
A note about medical factors:
Low libido can have hormonal and medical components that benefit from evaluation by your gynecologist, OB, or a hormone specialist. I work collaboratively with medical providers when appropriate and can help you have the conversations with your doctor that you haven't known how to start.
Who I work with:
I work with women of all ages, relationship statuses, and identities navigating low libido: whether you're postpartum, perimenopausal, single, partnered, or somewhere in between. I am LGBTQIA+ affirming, kink-aware, and non-monogamy friendly. All women are welcome here.
Location and availability:
I see clients in person in Plano and Frisco, TX and virtually with clients anywhere in Texas.