Couples Sex Therapy in Plano & Frisco, TX
What do you do when sex is a problem?
You love each other. That's not the question.
The question is why sex has become so complicated. Why it's been so long. Why bringing it up feels like starting an argument you're both too tired to have. Why you're lying next to someone you chose- and are still choosing- and feeling more alone than you did when you were single.
This is the conversation most couples never have with anyone. Not their friends, not their families, and often not even each other. Because sex is the topic that carries the most shame, the most fear of rejection, and the most potential to wound.
It's also the topic I've spent twenty years helping couples navigate.
I'm Shanna Wilder, a Licensed Sex Therapist and Certified Holistic Sex Therapist with over 20 years of experience working with couples on the most vulnerable and avoided terrain of their relationship. Couples sex therapy isn't about fixing what's broken. It's about understanding what's actually happening, and building something better than what you had before.
What brings couples to sex therapy:
Every couple's story is different. But the themes I hear most often are remarkably consistent:
"We've stopped having sex and neither of us knows how to start again"
"We want completely different things in the bedroom and can't find a middle ground"
"Sex feels like an obligation rather than something we both actually want"
"One of us had an affair and we're trying to rebuild our physical connection"
"We love each other but we've become roommates"
"We've never really talked honestly about what we want sexually, and now it's causing real damage"
"Something changed (a baby, a health issue, a life transition) and we can't find our way back to each other"
If any of those sound familiar, you're in the right place.
What couples sex therapy addresses:
Desire discrepancy and mismatched libidos
Rebuilding sexual connection after infidelity or betrayal
Communication about sex- how to have the conversations you've been avoiding
Postpartum intimacy and the impact of parenthood on sexual connection
The impact of stress, anxiety, and life transitions on desire
Sexual shame and the beliefs about sex each partner brings from their history
Exploring new dimensions of your sexual relationship safely and without pressure
Rebuilding after a dead bedroom- when sex has been absent for months or years
What couples sex therapy is NOT:
Couples sex therapy is not watching you have sex. It is not sexual contact of any kind. It is talk therapy- structured, professional, evidence-based conversation- focused specifically on the sexual and intimate dimensions of your relationship.
I say this because I know many couples hesitate to seek this kind of help because they're not sure what it involves. Now you know. It's two people and a therapist having an honest conversation about something most people never talk about honestly.
My approach:
I work with both partners together and sometimes individually as part of the process. My approach draws on Gottman Method couples therapy principles, the dual control model of sexual response, and twenty years of clinical experience sitting with couples in exactly the place you're in right now.
I am direct. I am warm. I will not make either of you feel judged or ashamed for where you are or what you want. And I will not send you home with nothing- every session ends with something concrete to think about, try, or talk about together.
Neither one of you is the problem. But you do have to decide to solve it together. That's where I come in.
Who I work with:
I work with couples of all orientations, relationship structures, ages, and identities. I am LGBTQIA+ affirming, kink-aware, non-monogamy friendly, and non-binary inclusive. All couples are welcome: married, unmarried, newly together, or decades in.
Location and availability:
I see couples in person in Plano and Frisco, TX and virtually with couples anywhere in Texas.
Other Areas I Serve:
Issues I Work With:
The longer you wait, the wider the distance gets. You don't have to keep navigating this alone.